Free Fallen...

It's troubling, very troubling for a lot of people no doubt... But exactly why is the recent scandal surrounding Colorado pastor Ted Haggard so upsetting? The answer depends on who you are and what you believe pertaining to matters of the spirit and religion. Many are shocked, self-righteous, cynical, outraged, and jaded. Others are forgiving, compassionate, empathetic, reasoning and optimistic.

From Christianity Today, November, 2006: As the Rev. Ted Haggard expresses sorrow for being a "deceiver and a liar," leaders of the National Association of Evangelicals are distancing their organization from the man who led it for three years. Both Haggard's 14,000-member church in Colorado Springs, Colo., and the NAE have cut ties with Haggard after he admitted to "sexual immorality" with a male escort. "Internally, I think most evangelicals will not tie what happened with Ted Haggard to NAE," said Anderson, senior pastor of Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie, Minn. "They will understand that if there are 45,000 churches [affiliated with NAE], that 44,999 of them have leaders that did not misbehave and that one person misbehaved and that that is an anomaly." Externally, he said, people looking from the outside at evangelicals may attempt to paint them all with one brush. "There will be those that will think the worst of evangelicals because of this and I'm sorry about that," Anderson said. "This is not who we are. This is not what we do. This is an exception."

Yes, some are going to chuck the whole thing (religion, spirituality, faith) now because one highly visible evangelical leader got caught with his proverbial pants down. Others will rally and defend the faith, praying for the rather large remnant of skeptics. As with anything, an extreme reaction one way or another in a situation like this is probably not a good idea. In fact, extreme reactions swinging any direction at any time is probably never a good idea.

And so, defining "right" and "wrong" now comes into question... again. Was Mr. Haggard's alleged homosexual behavior and drug use wrong? Or, as a nationally known evangelical leader, was his covert actions to cover up and hide his behavior wrong? The answer depends on what you believe; what you have faith in and what you hold as truth in your life. So the positions on this subject will be varied and many.

The issues here are adultery, substance abuse and lying. The fact that this man was a nationally known preacher is beside the point. That's right... it matters little what his day job was. He is a man, he is a human being, therefore he is certain to make mistakes. We as a society, make this a larger issue by erroneously placing certain people on spiritual pedestals and then are aghast when they fall off... "I am a deceiver and a liar, there's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life." "Please forgive me," Haggard wrote. "I am so embarrassed and ashamed…. I am a sinner. I have fallen." "I will never return to a leadership role."

What a shame... for many, many reasons. This guy probably should return to a leadership role someday because like it or not, he now has a very unique perspective that can eventually help others. He has "fallen from grace" according to evangelical Christianity, yet other faiths might assess that he is now free from the bondage that had enslaved him. His truth is now out. Whatever he chooses to do next is up to him, but nonetheless, he is "set free." What is "right" and what is "wrong" depends on what you believe. Another example is the Governor from New Jersey who resigned from office in 2004 after the news broke that he was gay. Tragedy or triumph? According to former Governor McGreevey, he is happier now that the truth is out and he can live the life he used to have to hide. He has recently published a book about his past life, his choices, and his plans for the future. He wants to use his position today to help others who struggle with sexuality issues.

How many of us suffer from various assorted sordid seductions and distractions? Here me clearly... I am in no way condoning nor condemning Pastor Haggard's actions. I cannot, in good conscience, pass judgment on another person's behavior, defining it as right or wrong, good or bad. My own past behavior and personal life disqualifies me of that. It's about progress, not perfection. But in some ways I am relieved for him. At least now he is free. Free from the lies, from the deceit, from the artificial life that he was leading. Now he and his family have the opportunity to heal... whatever the final outcome turns out to be. And for that I am grateful, because it is only through suffering and pain that we truly learn who we are and what we are made of. I've heard it said, "Character is like film, it can only be developed in the dark." Amen.

FAITH

Why write about spirituality, belief systems and faith? What's the point; the purpose? Because fighting over religion pushes people to reject it all at best, or causes world wars at worst... any outcome along this continuum is tragic. As soon as we remove the compulsion to be right; to prove someone or something else wrong, we're free. We're free to begin exploring the vastness of the undefinable while moving closer to Truth... the truth and our truth.

The great debate is whether Truth is absolute or relative. And the truth is, that Truth can only be deemed absolute by FAITH, which I'll define as:

Finite Filters
Applied to
Interpret Infinite
Truth &
Higher Power

We all need something to believe in; to belong to; to build a life around. Faith therefore, is a necessity, not a luxury. Even those who claim to have no faith, have faith in that belief... they have faith in their non-belief. Faith is influenced by, and a product of our finite mind’s filtering process. All information that we receive passes through filters affecting how we perceive that information. Since perception is reality, we call this filtered or processed information our “beliefs.” Depending on an individual’s social and cultural filters, perceptions of the same information can result in very different beliefs or truths. As these beliefs are applied to our lives, our behavior is then affected by our interpretations of “truth.” So faith in anything then literally becomes an applied interpretation of filtered information. Regarding infinite principles of spirituality, these interpretations of truth become known as religions, traditions, movements, ideologies and mythologies.

Currently there are approximately 2,500 known religions and over 70 ancient scriptures in existence. All religious traditions teach about the same basic concepts of love, compassion, faith, humility, caring, hope and life, etc. The types of descriptive words and phrases used to define the objects of worship may differ, but the same basic premises exist within each. Man-made words like Allah-Awakening-Being-Buddah-Consciousness-Enlightenment-Eternal Life-God-Heaven-Holy-Jehovah-Jesus-Meditation-Muhammed-Prayer-Salvation-Source-Unity-Worship... these are all adjectives created in an attempt to describe that which is indescribable.

So is God "out there," "in here," or "everywhere?" How is it that some religions can talk of faith in eternal life while so many people are struggling to simply survive in this life? We have to shift our faith's focus from simply avoiding the bad to consistently accessing the good. Make a move toward embracing life vs. escaping reality; fulfilling destiny vs. fighting demons. This will only be possible when we shed tunnel vision religion and replace it with broad-scope spirituality. I’ve heard it said that God is working in our lives all of the time... we just miss most of it. Let's hope we don't miss what's meant for us all in name of "faith."

Shepherd or Sheep?

Which one are you? Are you both at times? I am. Sometimes I like to be led; most times, truthfully, I need to lead. Notice I said NEED to lead, not just want to or prefer to. There is a big difference. A difference is that I have felt guilty about this in the past. A difference that I have felt the need to apologize for. But no more...

There is nothing instrinsically wrong with being led or leading. A person is not weak or inferior if they follow, nor are they necessarily better than or full of themselves if they lead. It is what it is. We are who we are, not what we do or don't do. We all have an innate need to belong to something, to believe in something collectively bigger than we are as individuals. And it really matters little whether you follow something that already exists, or you are the creator of something new. For any scenario, circumstance or situation to have real meaning, awareness has to be present. Authentic awareness of what it is, what it is not, where it's at, and what it means.

So regardless if you are the shepherd or the sheep... the real issue is your recognition and understanding of your place in the herd, and how you will use that position for the greater good.

God

Religion taught me what God wasn't.

Recovery showed me who God is...

QFtD 2

"...the way you pay attention to something produces the way you experience it. Attention is a powerful tool. If you pay something positive attention, it will move forward in a positive way. If you pay something negative attention, it will move forward in a negative way. Either way, it will move forward. Attention to anything makes it larger. Attention is an enlargement device." - Neale Donald Walsch

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein