Free Fallen...

It's troubling, very troubling for a lot of people no doubt... But exactly why is the recent scandal surrounding Colorado pastor Ted Haggard so upsetting? The answer depends on who you are and what you believe pertaining to matters of the spirit and religion. Many are shocked, self-righteous, cynical, outraged, and jaded. Others are forgiving, compassionate, empathetic, reasoning and optimistic.

From Christianity Today, November, 2006: As the Rev. Ted Haggard expresses sorrow for being a "deceiver and a liar," leaders of the National Association of Evangelicals are distancing their organization from the man who led it for three years. Both Haggard's 14,000-member church in Colorado Springs, Colo., and the NAE have cut ties with Haggard after he admitted to "sexual immorality" with a male escort. "Internally, I think most evangelicals will not tie what happened with Ted Haggard to NAE," said Anderson, senior pastor of Wooddale Church in Eden Prairie, Minn. "They will understand that if there are 45,000 churches [affiliated with NAE], that 44,999 of them have leaders that did not misbehave and that one person misbehaved and that that is an anomaly." Externally, he said, people looking from the outside at evangelicals may attempt to paint them all with one brush. "There will be those that will think the worst of evangelicals because of this and I'm sorry about that," Anderson said. "This is not who we are. This is not what we do. This is an exception."

Yes, some are going to chuck the whole thing (religion, spirituality, faith) now because one highly visible evangelical leader got caught with his proverbial pants down. Others will rally and defend the faith, praying for the rather large remnant of skeptics. As with anything, an extreme reaction one way or another in a situation like this is probably not a good idea. In fact, extreme reactions swinging any direction at any time is probably never a good idea.

And so, defining "right" and "wrong" now comes into question... again. Was Mr. Haggard's alleged homosexual behavior and drug use wrong? Or, as a nationally known evangelical leader, was his covert actions to cover up and hide his behavior wrong? The answer depends on what you believe; what you have faith in and what you hold as truth in your life. So the positions on this subject will be varied and many.

The issues here are adultery, substance abuse and lying. The fact that this man was a nationally known preacher is beside the point. That's right... it matters little what his day job was. He is a man, he is a human being, therefore he is certain to make mistakes. We as a society, make this a larger issue by erroneously placing certain people on spiritual pedestals and then are aghast when they fall off... "I am a deceiver and a liar, there's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life." "Please forgive me," Haggard wrote. "I am so embarrassed and ashamed…. I am a sinner. I have fallen." "I will never return to a leadership role."

What a shame... for many, many reasons. This guy probably should return to a leadership role someday because like it or not, he now has a very unique perspective that can eventually help others. He has "fallen from grace" according to evangelical Christianity, yet other faiths might assess that he is now free from the bondage that had enslaved him. His truth is now out. Whatever he chooses to do next is up to him, but nonetheless, he is "set free." What is "right" and what is "wrong" depends on what you believe. Another example is the Governor from New Jersey who resigned from office in 2004 after the news broke that he was gay. Tragedy or triumph? According to former Governor McGreevey, he is happier now that the truth is out and he can live the life he used to have to hide. He has recently published a book about his past life, his choices, and his plans for the future. He wants to use his position today to help others who struggle with sexuality issues.

How many of us suffer from various assorted sordid seductions and distractions? Here me clearly... I am in no way condoning nor condemning Pastor Haggard's actions. I cannot, in good conscience, pass judgment on another person's behavior, defining it as right or wrong, good or bad. My own past behavior and personal life disqualifies me of that. It's about progress, not perfection. But in some ways I am relieved for him. At least now he is free. Free from the lies, from the deceit, from the artificial life that he was leading. Now he and his family have the opportunity to heal... whatever the final outcome turns out to be. And for that I am grateful, because it is only through suffering and pain that we truly learn who we are and what we are made of. I've heard it said, "Character is like film, it can only be developed in the dark." Amen.